Now, if you've been following the saga of Jay Leno and his Tonight Show replacement, Conan O'Brien, you may have seen Jay's recent "As Seen on eBay" desk piece. Nobody is exactly sure what is going to happen after the switchover. However, we did hear that the studio audience was privvy to several eBay items that were not included in the broadcast master distributed to NBC affiliates via pneumatic tube.

Now, the first one might surprise you. Jay showed us a gold-foil bag of hemp-laced coffee that had failed to sell. Hello? Coffee doesn't help you write jokes, but it might help your P.A. learn Final Draft faster. Anyway, a reliable source said this is the real item that they are using to fumigate the writer's room at the Tonight Show. Imported from New York, apparently. Sold or not sold?

Now, if you're a follower of the show, this next item won't surprise you at all. It's a book of over 1000 Paris Hilton jokes from Jay's 2008 opening monologues. Sold or not sold?

I heard a rumor that a half-japanese drag queen in a pink jumpsuit with tourette syndrome was removed by security after disrupting the Tonight Show taping by yelling expletives such as "You can keep your $50, just give me the FAX number to Jay's two-liner farm team and I will THROW DOWN!" and "Even my pet monkey can write Paris jokes: he just has trouble with touch tone dialing!"